Performance Review

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Work, life in perfect balance. Sense of renewed purpose. Drastic reduction in disorganized thinking. No more waiting until the last minute. No more blue light after sunset. Practicing being present. Quality time with family. Weekly meal prep on Saturdays. Sundays reserved for the Lord. Short, timed breaks to recharge and recenter. A morning walk to clear my head. Growing. Reaping the benefits of calendarized timeboxing. Lowering risk of early death. Pounding water morning, noon, and night. Eating for energy. Choosing stairs over elevator. No more coffee after 12pm. No more stinking thinking. No more walking into rooms and forgetting why I came in there. Becoming. Setting-bound goals. Indulging in the occasional cheat meal. Making friends after forty. Curbing unnecessary spending. Taking pictures of empty car seats after drop off. Lying awake at night listening to my devices as they listen to me. Maintaining lists of things to be grateful for. Maintaining a distraction-free workspace. Maintaining a high tolerance for ambiguity. Maintaining visions of a broken-down mule on its side in a field, its stubby legs gripped by snarling vines. Transforming. Hiring a personal trainer. Getting good-quality sleep. Cutting out soys and pornography. Appointment Monday to get moles checked. Could stand to lose a few more pounds. Ribs still ache like a kicked animal’s. Fifteen milligrams, twice a day. Following up and following through. Prioritizing family. Celebrating wins. Making room for grace. Pobody’s nerfect. Well on my way. No longer half-there. Able to hold two or more competing ideas simultaneously. Maturing. A valued contributor. A disciplined teammate. A contented lump of finely-marbled beef, free to roam where I please, all the while dreaming of the next beer, the next massage.

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JOHN WADDY BULLION’S writing has appeared in BULL, HAD, Maudlin House, Rejection Letters, and Identity Theory, among other fine places. He lives in Fort Worth, Texas, with his family. Follow him on Twitter @jonwaddy.

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