by Ahimaz Rajessh 

 

Dearest Wealtivist,

 

You are new and so you will do well to remember these facts known as All Things Factual so as to steer clear of the common misconceptions concerning Wealth Activism Do and the rich (r silent).

You going to live among them does not at all mean you are going to live like them. False modesty is out of the question. Judicious imitation, however, is acceptable.

We do not collect charity of any kind from the ich (r silenced) at all. Our contributors are vigorously authenticated non-ich and we are funded forever via AKD—All Things Kickstars Incognito Do— that’s neither an ai nor an aI, to put the rumors to rest, but just a HmI.

You will receive no media exposure whatsoever. For media, we make certain, you do not exist—why, we do not exist, not just yet.

Know that there are many kinds of ich peoples as opposed to just one and categorizing them as one entity would prove significantly distressful for effective activism. Therefore, you will do endlessly improvise.

You’ve placed yourself there not to build a body of knowledge, or to contribute to building a knowledge bank, but instead to sharpen your senses concerning the phenomenon that’s Iches, a phenomenon that for reasons arcane has evaded rigorous scientific scrutiny heretofore, to enrich in turn the extrasomatogenetic perception sensors of the Wealtivists Do Database.

By ich we strictly mean the rich, upper middleclass ich, and the fidgety middleclass ich and not the legitimate and illegitimate criminals who are none of our concern but of—Wealtivists Go—our sister organization’s. In case you happen to discover later your ‘clientele’ is one of the latter kinds, which many a time does happen, you may very well choose to switch over to Wealtivists Go, although we advise you not go, as switching over would mean inculcating very special set of skills, and do instead report and cop out. In such an event, we do assure you will be handsomely compensated for choosing to wear your handpicked deep-seated Hairfollicle of Silence.

Do not at any point encourage them to enroll into a Course of Unlearning. Many a trouble has been caused by Overeducation. We do strongly encourage Uneducation that’s an inner science and achieved only by way of sheer reflection. You do know and do have the triggers that trigger the extrasensory trigger points.

It is by means of economy of consumption, not by means of abandonment of consumption, is Overconsumption eradicated. To abandon it at once is to bring about economic distress which we do not want to anonymously be party of never again.

The presence of melancholia among them need not be reflective of their regret or guilt. It is something anybody can experience and we all do. Suffice it to say it is best cared for by natural, non-chemical means when severe and by letting it run its natural course when mild. This common human condition is, arguably, not unlike common cold.

As an aside, plump is no longer a euphemism for the wealthy. Tummy tuck and other cosmetic surgeries have been in vogue since long. That does not, however, mean they have become perfectly healthy. To say they, mostly, do look it would be appropriate.

Whenever someone is happy it is time to observe spacetime. In fact we strongly encourage you keep Happiness Diary so as to be repetitiously reminded of how fleeting the moments of being happy can be. This is simply, unarguably, yet another common condition. Therefore, the notion of happiness as a goal to be achieved must be discarded and relegated to Cosmic Laughter Clubs.

Of all knowledge this is vital. Wealth is not in itself a condition to be perceived as evil, nor is it a consequence of evil. In other words, weal (th silenced) at no point will be forcibly eradicated. The ich are there to be de-educated and de-rehabilitated by us over a period of time for the good of one and all.

(Again, it is the dedication of yours, remember, not the eradication of theirs.)

(Over a period of time almost certainly means centuries, not decades, and not even one’s lifetime. In Cosmic Calendar, life on earth is barely months old, and so it is to be understood as: We have things to do, the we that is very much inclusive of the posterity, not you have things to do, nor is it I have things to do, although you and I have some things to do.)

Biological clock is passé. Do attune yourself to the Cosmic Clock you’re implanted with.

You will be their associates, colleagues, et cetera mostly and lovers, family, et cetera rarely if at all. What is mentioned as rarely is in fact to be strictly very, very rarely.

You are handpicked for your capability for Deep Inner Calmness among other things, most importantly Extraordinary Memory Skills and Incredible Selective Forgetting, and not for your love of All Things Moderation, although we do greatly admire that trait of yours.

If we haven’t mentioned already, there is nothing called excess of moderation at all, nor is there something called supreme forgiveness. That being said you do be wary of the excesses of history and do be wary of the excesses of so-called every-day.

Now go get nuts to eat, or some dry fruits, and this moment on do stop climbing trees or skyscrapers.

P.S. – Do stare out into the skies and do see the flickering Space Hypermarkets and Super-Space Junkyards. This is the way to live at once in the now and the centuries to come.

If this document has not yet absorbed the Dissolvink, just for moderate fun, do read through once again. The words will dissipate in a bit. If it has not means that it will. In case this is an e-document that’s read on your Nosetop Spectakl and has not blanked itself out at all, do select Control All plus Escape.

 

Cosmically Yours,

McKindBeCool et al

 

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Ahimaz Rajessh, a Best of the Net and Pushcart nominee, has been published in Nanoism, Jellyfish Review, Strange Horizons, Pidgeonholes, 7×20, Cuento, 200 CCs, Flapperhouse, SmokeLong Quarterly, Thalam, Padhaakai and Malaigal. His writing is forthcoming in Milkfist and Manal Veedu.